Tips for a Long Term Relationship

There is plenty of advice out there on how to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. There are also tons of tips on dating. Once you get that date, where do you go from there? Magazine articles constantly talk about to drive your partner crazy in bed or quick, nice things you can do for your partner. There is less written about actually building relationships and making them successful in the long run.

Building Trust

Trust is truly an important component in the foundation of a loving relationship. This is why it is mentioned so often in relationship advice. Trust can develop on its own but putting a little work into building it can help significantly. How can you do that? One way is to be reliable. When you say something, you should mean it. When you say you will do something, or make a promise, make sure you follow through. Trust can slowly grow if you stay consistent. Remember that it is a lot easier to destroy trust than it is to build it. By having follow through, you will go a long way to building and maintaining trust.

Even when you are having a disagreement, make sure you don’t attack your partners weaknesses. The last thing you want to do is say and do things that you will regret later. Respect your partner’s feelings. You should never tell your partner how they should or shouldn’t feel about anything. Just because you feel that way doesn’t mean that other should. Hurting your partner with off-hand remarks is a great way to destroy trust.

Financial Matters

If you share any financial responsibilities (which couples often do in long term relationships), you both need to communicate on this issue. A lack of communication on this issue can result in poor planning where you are both planning different things with sometimes limited resources. This can cause resentment and ultimately hurt the relationship.

In a marriage with only one person working, both of you should be involved in financial planning. To help minimize problems, put aside time each month (while you’re doing the bills is a good time) to discuss your financial situation. Once you get used to it, it’ll become a lot easier.

End Your Arguments

Here is something that commonly happens in relationships: Your partner does something that annoys you yet again and suddenly you’re arguing over the same old issues. Try to realize that nobody is perfect, and the annoying behavior might not go away over night, or at all. The important thing isn’t so much stopping it from happening as knowing how to deal with it when it does happen, so it won’t cause constant tension.

If you realize an argument is getting out of hand, try a little gentle humor. You might say something kind to your partner, or acknowledge that the two of you ultimately share the same goals to find some common ground. If you still can’t see eye to eye, take a break to clear your head.

Talk About What’s Important

Another common thing we hear in troubled relationships is that both partners seem to live separate lives. Most often it starts with a break down in communication. Real relationship sustaining communication does not mean talking about daily mundane chores or what’s on television. It means regularly talking about your feelings, your dreams for the future, and even your fears.

Keeping a relationship going strong takes work, trust, communication, and attention to the things that really matter. Don’t get sidetracked by the magazine headlines because the best love relationship advice isn’t all about when to send roses or what to do in bed.

This guy and I had made plans to hit up a local bar for a pint one night after work. I was looking forward to our date because our first date had gone so well, and I was hoping that the spark was still there. I was cautious though-he’d cancelled our drink date FIVE times already, and when I agreed to his sixth offer, I was 99% expecting him to flake out again – and flake out he did.

When I politely texted him to delete my number and that there wouldn’t be a seventh chance, he responded that “I really like you, my friends told me to act unavailable, but I think I took it too far.”

Yep. When you constantly push someone away, eventually you just won’t have to anymore.

During the course of being brushed off five times, I had kept my options open. I was still meeting other eligible bachelors, ones who seemed perfectly able of fitting me into their busy schedules without issue, so I wasn’t too devastated about us ending before we’d even begun. And while this is a bit of an extreme case (canceling a date 6 times doesn’t mean you’re playing hard to get, it means you’re a jerk), it is a glaring example of how playing hard to get, or well, playing anything when it comes to dating can backfire.

I totally understand the reasoning behind playing hard to get. In order for the other person to view you as highly desirable, and feel lucky that they receive even a moment of your attention, you have to make sure they know how BUSY and in demand you are. The goal, of course, is to have them chasing you, not the other way around-meaning you’ve got the upper hand. So the game begins-declining a date for Saturday even though you’re free, but don’t want to look too available. Casually dropping hints that you went out with someone else the night before to make sure they know that other men or women find you attractive and they had better commit!

Problem is though, that when you’re “playing”, you’re not being YOU. Some of the very best and memorable dates I’ve been on have been spur of the moment, spontaneous invites, yep even on a Saturday night oh the horror! I stopped caring if a guy would think I was too available-if he was cool, and he wanted to hang out and I was free, why would I shoot myself in the foot? When I’ve tried making a guy jealous by mentioning another date I went on, it never EVER worked-generally, he’d stop calling and I’d wonder why, but it’s not that much of a mystery. He thought I was interested in someone else, so he walked away.

I’m not suggesting you throw your life away and be at the beck and call of whoever you’re dating. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be choosy and selective and I’m definitely not saying that there is nothing to be said for a bit of mystery, but I think it’s safe to say that playing hard to get can do more harm than good. Get out of your own way and create your own rules. Be vulnerable. Be open. Leave the game playing to the kids.

By: Elizabeth Nelson

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Look out for these 10 signs of a healthy relationship to make sure your love life is on track. It’s very easy to get so wrapped up with your new love or partner that you accidently sabotage your relationship. Maintain a healthy relationship with your partner or start a new, healthy relationship by giving her plenty of space, respect and trust.

1. Respect your partner. One sign of a healthy relationship is mutual respect between partners. Respecting your partner means allowing her to have her own opinions and activities, no matter what you may think of them. Another part of respecting your partner is accepting for who they are. If you constantly want your partner to change or improve to match what you want them to be, your relationship will suffer.
2. You trust each other. A relationship without trust is no relationship at all. Your partner will have interactions with and may even be friends with members of the opposite sex. You have to trust that she won’t cheat on you with every guy she sees. Your relationship will suffer if you let jealousy take over.
3. You can be honest.  Without honesty, there can be no trust in a healthy relationship. Don’t lie to your partner, no matter how small or harmless it seems. Honesty also includes being up front about any STD’s or other contagious infections you may have.
4. Spend time apart. A couple in a healthy relationship will feel completely comfort taking time to themselves every so often. This means letting her have a girls’ night or her letting you hang up with your guy friends every so often. You also don’t have to get into an activity just because she is.
5. You feel safe saying “no.” Understanding your partner’s boundaries and having a partner who understands your boundaries is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. If your partner is not into a certain activity or if you do not feel comfortable trying something new, each of you has to accept that from the other.
6. You can express your thoughts without fear of judgment. Good communication is essential to any healthy relationship. If you feel upset or angry about something, tell your partner. Keeping things in can lead to resentment or a huge argument further down the line.
7. Accept the give and take of the relationship. A healthy relationship is not all about you. You should be willing to do want your partner wants every so often and your partner should be willing to do what you want every now and then.
8. Be there for the other person. Life gets rough some times, which may be why people seek out relationships with others. Being available for your partner in her time of need, whether it’s when a family member passes on or she doesn’t get the job she wanted, is a part of a healthy relationship.
9. Don’t negatively influence the other person. Some relationships lead to the downfall of both partners, either because both wind up using alcohol or drugs or engaging in a life of crime. If you sense that your partner has some serious issues, ones that you cannot help fix, get her help, but don’t follow her lead.
10. Feel confident and secure in yourself. Good self esteem is a part of any healthy relationship. When you are confident in yourself, you’ll be less likely to fall into an abusive pattern or end up in a relationship where the other person tries to control what you do and who you see.

I am still amazed how many men and women complain about the difficulties they have enjoying a successful dating life. The sexes must learn how to open up and talk to each other without initial harsh judgment or sabotage due to their own subconscious insecurities. Men & women need to make an effort to understand their gender differences and embrace them instead of repelling away from them!

The one common denominator both men and women have is their lack of creativity on where to rendezvous when they are looking for a future partner. The most obvious choice for many is the bars & nightclub scene. This is “one night stand” territory no matter how you look at it. There will always be the exception of a few people who end up in a committed relationship with someone they meet in a club, but for the most part it is a short lived scenario. Most people wake up the next day & seldom call the number they have in their coat pocket from the night before. (This is mainly due to too much alcohol & lack of confidence to make the phone call.)

Meeting in a lounge or a restaurant is a better environment but you have to be more creative as there is no dancing to seduce or lure someone in. You actually have to converse with them. Alcohol is a great relaxer for many women & it works wonders for men looking for a sexual encounter. This is why the bar scene is a repetitive pattern for so many frustrated people. It is available on every corner and everyone hopes that there will be an exception to this rule every time they repeat the pattern. Unfortunately it is usually the same old story every weekend. Everyone wakes up perturbed & lonely.

Some of the situations to be aware of for when meeting a potential partner:

• If you are using Online sites check out if someone that you may be  interested in, is also listed in the “intimate” section. Some people are only really interested in a sexual relationship. Really read their profiles & pay attention to any red flags. (Many people choose to ignore them, even the obvious ones because they are desperate to meet someone.)
• Pay attention to the groupie types who only date or sleep with a certain high profile distinction. Many prominent athletes, musicians or wealthy business people frequent the same watering holes. This is a gold mine for men & women on the prowl for money or status.
• Be aware of women who are addicted to a celebrity type lifestyle and cannot date anyone who is not in this league.
• Being the constant mistress! Now there’s a novel idea…being #2 forever. Married men will not continually come to you unless you are sending out those vulnerable signals.
• People who only date the perfect & beautiful types. Their physical standards are so high that everything else is overlooked in the relationship. Both sexes fall into this category.

External riches do not necessarily bring internal riches.

Finding true love should not be costly or painful. Getting yourself stuck in a routine will close doors on other available options that could ultimately work for you. If you classify yourself as a certain “type” you will not allow yourself to grow to your full potential ~you become stuck! How to stop repeating bad dating patterns & the 10 best places to look for a potential partner.

Fear can be a powerful suppressor, so be cognizant of any forming patterns that keep you from having love in your life because you are afraid of the unknown. Take baby steps to challenge your demons.

If you don’t have the strength to get out of reoccurring heart breaking situations, then start observing some of your friends who may be stronger than you and follow their lead. (Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to hire someone professionally for a short time.) Change up your dating patterns & the venues so that you have a better chance of meeting someone of substance. Everyone deserves love in their life.

Some of the 10 best places to meet at least start up a good conversation:

1. Golf driving range or (Executive par 3 course, as less serious golfers will go there.)
2. Tennis court (Use the back wall where other solo players will practice)
3. The gym (Be friendly & acknowledge people near you ~ Say hi & take off your headphones!)
4. Airport (Talk to people in the holding room or restaurants.)
5. Hiking trails or a Beach/Park with high people traffic
6. Sporting venue (hockey game, soccer match, golf spectator etc)
7. Any social event where people can mingle. (Do not put yourself in a booth; always stay open to the room.)
8. Meet up groups (Check your local area for the numerous groups available or start one!)
9. Take a course where there will be people there who have similar interests as you.
10. Speed dating & Online Sites (Do your homework & find the best ones that work for you.)

Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters
by LoveLetterBox

Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured by her beauty the first time you laid your eyes on her? Having sleepless nights thinking about her? That first impression she left with you was sure astonishing wasn’t it?

The first impression you give plays a very important part in the blooming of a love relationship. It determines the ever possibility of a development of the relationship. Would you fall in love with someone whom you don’t have any good impression at all? The chances are, if you have a bad impression of someone, it’s very likely that the more you see him the more you will dislike him. It’s very hard to change one’s thinking once it is set in his mind. It will need a lot of time and regular communication between both to break down that wall. So even if you can’t impress that special someone the very first time, make sure you will not displease him or her. You can still work on your chances at a later time.

How can you impress someone? Well, you may be the kindest soul, so helpful; caring, fun loving and easy going whom all your friends enjoy your presence. But does that someone know? No, if there are no chances of both of you going out together, going out on a date, there’s no way he or she will ever get to know you more. You have got to make that someone notice you, make your presence be known. You got to first impress him or her!

Very naturally, humans tend to make judgment of another just by their very first acquaintance with the person. Decisions were made almost at that very moment of your job interview? Your physical appearance, the way you talk, all your little behaviors you show, will decide what kind of a person you are to them and this impression is going to be set in their mind unless some thing or someone changes it.

So what can you do? What should you take note of? First of all, your appearance of course. Your physical appearance is the very the first thing that catches a person’s eyes. Put on your very best look! But do however dress appropriately. If you are going for a ball, you will not go in your jeans and tee and if you are going for a barbeque, for heaven’s sake, please don’t go in your tuxedo or suits. Other than your physical appearance, you have to also be careful with all your little actions, the way you speak, the way you eat, the way you look at others–

Look for chance to strike a conversation with that someone. If not a personal one, a little group conversation will be good. Try to participate in the conversation, getting his or her attention. Look into the eyes, drop him or her a nice warm smile. Let that someone know that his or her presence is felt, being felt by you. A smile with the right eye contact at the right timing can sometimes works wonder than to words. But please, keep the conversations entertaining. If you are bad with jokes, don’t try it! Don’t risk making yourself a clown.

For guys, show your gentlemanliness, hold the door for her, offer seat to her; offer her a ride home– But remember, be natural, take things slowly, don’t overdo it and scare her off the very first time.

For girls? Well, you always got a little more privilege. Just be sure not to make yourself look unfriendly, Smile– Look him in the eyes and drop him a nice little sweet smile of yours. Do you know that your smile is enough to melt a man’s heart?

Well all these little things count, your little efforts will pay off– Nonetheless, it’s always good to leave people with a good impression of yourself rather than a bad one, isn’t it?

FRESNO, CA – Friday, May 11, 47CBS TV at 5:30 & 6:00 AM PT - http://www.cbs47.tv 

and speaking at A Book Barn at 12:30 PM http://www.clovisbookbarn.com/

Want to attract and start dating a confident, grounded man who will enhance your already great life?

The best way to do it is to act like a lady. Yes, that age-old scenario is still true: masculine men are attracted to feminine women.

Men want to know that they’re contributing to our lives. When a man cares about you, making you happy is his mission. If you don’t allow him this gift, chances are he will not stay. Or, if he does, he will give you what you ask for: nothing.

When I conduct workshops and talk to clients about this, women want to know exactly what being feminine means. Am I supposed to let him do things for me that I can easily do myself? Am I not supposed to disagree when he says something I think is wrong? My answer is yes…sometimes.

I know what they’re getting at when they ask these questions. These are strong, independent and smart women.

The last thing they want to do is to act like some helpless 1950′s Mad Men-style female. They’ve been working all their adult lives NOT to be that woman.

I understand their fear. But it’s not this stereotype of a woman that men today are looking for.

Being in your feminine means many things, but none of them have to do with giving up your power.

In fact, it IS your power.

Femininity means being open, kind and positive.

It means receiving gracefully and giving generously…not of material things but of your heart and your genuine self.

It means being his biggest fan and letting him feel that his efforts to please you are appreciated and welcomed.

So, yes, sometimes being a powerful, feminine woman translates into allowing a man to do things you can do for yourself and letting him be right…even when you think he’s not.

I found a fantastic example of this when talking with my hair stylist:

Sharon is a few months into a relationship with a spectacular man. They met online, started dating and have a drama-free, lovely relationship that’s moving rapidly toward marriage. She told me this great story, which is a perfect example of choosing to use your feminine power.

Sharon and her boyfriend decided to take a last-minute trip during a holiday weekend. He told her he would plan it all and was very excited about the opportunity to do so. After a couple days she got a text from him “So sorry sweetheart, but I can’t find anywhere to go. All sold out.”

She wanted to take a trip, so she instantly went to her computer to find a hotel. Then she stopped. Even though she was confident she could find a place, she decided not to. He was so excited about doing this for her and was so disappointed he couldn’t. Sharon knew that if she was able to, he would feel embarrassed and…well…emasculated.

Sharon chose to forgo a little getaway in exchange for maintaining the loving and nurturing relationship she has developed with her devoted man.

Now that is a feminine woman holding on to a wonderful masculine man.

Whomever coined the phrase, “communication is key”, couldn’t have been more on the money. Our communication styles directly drive the success and demise of our relationships. Effective communication is vitally important to a healthy relationship. Since we all communicate and interpret information differently, we must put forth extra effort to ensure that what we said or didn’t say was received in the proper context.

Generally speaking, people tend to fall into two categories of communication styles, introverts and extroverts. Most of us can adopt either style depending on the situation, but we gravitate to one style more frequently. In fact, there are physiological differences in brain activity that predispose us to these behaviors.

Often, it is thought that introverts are really quiet and shy. Sometimes this is true, but mostly, this is just the perception of others because introverts need time to internalize before sharing. Many prefer to communicate in writing rather than verbally because writing gives them the opportunity for self-reflection before sharing. Introverts love letters, texts, emails, and quiet conversation. They have little desire to be the center of attention. It is NEVER a good idea to throw a surprise party for a true introvert. 

Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to process information externally. They often think out loud for all to hear. They are comfortable in large crowds and enjoy being the center of attention. They are generally more comfortable with sharing information, even it it hasn’t been completely thought out. Extroverts love phone calls, large meetings, spontaneous visits, and brainstorming sessions. Feel free to throw as many surprise parties for an extrovert that you can. They will love you for it! 

The first step to improving communication is determining your communication style, and then understanding how to tailor it to meet the needs of your audience.

Common Traits of Introverts

• Tend to hesitate before speaking
• Need time to think before responding
• Need time to reflect before reacting
• Prefer one on one communication
• Repeatedly process the same information, over and over
• Prefer written communication

Common Traits of Extroverts

• Share personal information easily
• Respond exuberantly to questions and outward events
• Do not always allow others to share their thoughts and ideas
• Comfortable communicating with large or small groups
• Think out loud, interacting with others, then process
• Prefer communicating verbally

As you can see, these two styles couldn’t be more different. Can you imagine them trying to communicate with each other? It sounds impossible, but we are all forced to attempt it daily. If you know your style and can identify theirs, it can help immeasurably. You will learn to be a little more sensitive to their communication needs, and it gives you insight into interpreting their responses. 

Some tips for communicating with an Introvert:

If meeting in person and you have a lot of items to discuss, don’t bring them all up at once. That is overload for an introvert. Break the topics into smaller sessions. This allows more internal processing time. Accept that there will be short pauses in discussion. Don’t think you need to fill up all the silence with conversation. If possible, communicate via email or texts. 

Some tips for communicating with an Extrovert:

Don’t send a letter or email. They will respond with a phone call or try to schedule a meeting anyway. Try not to pause too long before giving a response. They thrive off the energy of a room full of people, and hesitation can be often misunderstood.

The impossible is achievable. I can attest to it. My daily routine often involves an introvert and extrovert trying to communicate. I can be terrible at verbally communicating my feelings. I need A LOT of time to internally process before I will share anything, so I largely speak non-verbally, much to the dismay of my partner in crime who strives for extremely open communication channels. He’ll try to extract information anyway possible when I am behaving like a sullen teenager. When I won’t talk, he diligently tries to decipher my cryptic codes. He deserves an ‘A’ for effort. Without his undaunted efforts, we would not be together. He is unquestionably my better half. Fortunately for me, he is pretty good at it, and he tolerates my introverted tendencies. On the flipside, when he blurts out information by over sharing without forethought, I forgive him, most of the time.

It is a struggle as old as the dating game itself: The man wants a casual relationship, but you want something more.

Men love casual relationships. They love enjoying more than one woman at a time, and a casual relationship allows them to do this. If they aren’t committed to any ONE woman, they can have all the women they want!

The need for commitment comes when a man feels like he is falling in love with one particular woman. That’s when he will forsake all the others and want to be with only you.

But how does he GET there?

It is important to remember that men move much more slowly than women do when it comes to relationships.

For A Man, Keeping It A Casual Relationship Gives Him Plenty Of Time To Explore His Feelings

And if he doesn’t feel as though a woman is the ONE, he sees the casual relationship as a way to enjoy her – and maybe even have a friend with benefits – without any of the commitment.

Taking him out of that casual mindset requires being the kind of woman that he simply can’t figure out. That means you aren’t the “friends with benefits” type, and you aren’t the good friend type. You are something more.

You have to show him that you are that woman who can rock his world. Here are a few tips that will help you get his mind from casual to serious mode.

TIP #1: DEVELOP A CLOSE BOND.

Men take a long time to form an emotional bond with someone. That’s why it is important to take things slow and let him build up a strong friendship with you first.

In some ways this might seem counter-intuitive. You want to DATE him, not wind up in the friend zone! But that strong foundation can keep you from being in the friend zone if you do it the right way.

Make sure you are someone he can always talk to and share his thoughts and dreams with. You should be the kind of woman he wants to call up and tell about his day.

On the other hand, you should never become a “buddy” for him. That leads to the friend zone. What you want is to make it clear, from the start, that you love to spend time with him but you expect proper dates.

So make it clear that you are there to listen to him, to hang out with him, to enjoy him – but you are not the kind that he can talk with about other women. You are his date, and his friend, but not his “buddy.”

TIP #2: DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM.

Speaking of buddies, sleeping with a man too soon is the number one way to get yourself into a casual relationship that you can’t get out of!

Remember, men take longer to forge an emotional bond with the woman they are interested in. In order to move further into a relationship, they have to have that emotional bond before the physical bond takes hold.

Unfortunately, when you sleep with him too soon, that physical bond is formed, but the emotional bond falls to the wayside. Sleeping with him too early puts you firmly in the “casual” camp.

Avoid this by not sleeping with him. When he asks why you won’t, simply tell him that you are worth more than that, and when he wants to get serious, let you know. He will get the hint!

TIP #3: TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL – CASUALLY.

There is nothing wrong with telling him how you feel, as long as you keep it casual and light. He needs to know that you are not “just friends.”

You can do this by slipping certain words and phrases into casual conversation. This keeps him from being threatened by it, and instead makes him feel happy and confident about the way you feel.

For instance, when you are talking about a new business venture he is undertaking, say something like “I know how wonderful you are, and I’m sure they will see it too!”

This is a clear compliment, yet delivered in such a casual way that he doesn’t feel threatened in the least. The compliment will stick with him and give him that warm feeling inside. That warm feeling is what will continue drawing him to you.

TIP #4: KEEP YOUR LIFE FULL.

While you are waiting on him to take the hint, keep your own life on track. Keep your calendar full of dates with interesting men, go out with your girlfriends now and then, and take a vacation, leaving your cell phone behind.

Soon he will realize that he has to wiggle his way into your schedule. This will make him notice that yes, you are busy with other people and no, you aren’t rolling out the red carpet for him.

For most men, that makes them want to spend MORE time with you. You become a prize that he wants to win.

So not only does keeping your life full make you MUCH happier, it also makes him notice you more, and that is always a good thing!

TIP #5: GIVE HIM TIME – BUT NOT TOO MUCH TIME.

For a man to go from casual to serious takes some time. It might take several weeks for him to realize he wants to do this, and then several months for him to actually take the plunge and seriously think about it.

So by all means, give him the patience to work through what he’s feeling. This is where keeping your life full comes in very handy. You will be distracted from the constant wondering of whether he is getting into a more serious mindset or not.

But keep in mind that you can’t give him too much time. Waiting for one man for a very long time can take a toll on your self-esteem, your dating life and your outlook.

So be patient, but not too patient. Don’t be so focused on one man that you miss the true man of your dreams when he comes calling.

What If These Tips To Turn A Casual Relationship Serious Never Work?

Sometimes, these tips just won’t work. And it might happen consistently. That’s when you have to face the fact that it’s not the TIPS that are the problem. It’s the MEN that are the problem.

That’s because sometimes, we just chose the wrong kind of man. If you’re into dating bad boys, for instance, you will soon realize that settling down and making a commitment is simply not in their playbook.

If you are focusing your efforts on someone who has to be dragged into commitment, then you are probably choosing the wrong type of man to settle down with.

And of course, that’s easy to do, because the men who are the biggest challenges are the ones we are always drawn to! I know I was.

If you have the patience to wait on one of those men who is not yet ready to go from a casual relationship to serious, then he might be worth your time. But if you are looking to settle down soon with someone you can share your life with, choose wisely, my friend!

So many women allow their social circle to become a roadblock in their love lives rather than their greatest asset. One of the most frequent complaints I get from women are those who say: “All my friends are married/in relationships” or “I just don’t have the kind of fun, single friends I need.” Now, if either of these is the case, you’re going to be limiting spending your social time with other people who don’t have that same drive that you need to really get you going.

The Effect Married Friends Have On Your Love Life

Married people relax very quickly; they don’t have as much of that social urge to meet new people, and when they do, it will often only be to do more couple-oriented events (Married people tend to start gravitating towards other married people). And if we get stuck as the only single person in a circle of married friends, it can be an uphill struggle to push yourself to meet single guys, since your married friends are unlikely to bring many eligible bachelors to your doorstep! Sooner or later your friends will utter that dreaded phrase: “I just don’t understand why you’re STILL single!”.  At that point your answer is simple: “Because I’m stuck here meeting a bunch of married people!!”

What’s more, these friends who are in relationships can be prone to giving out terrible advice, since they have a ton of their own bad relationship habits, or they don’t really understand anything about men themselves.

Why Your Peer Group Is So Important

In life, our peer group (i.e. the people we spend most of our time with) has a massive effect on everything we do and think. I can’t emphasize its importance enough; for example, if all-day, everyday you were surrounded by friends at the peak of physical fitness, who saw health as the most important thing in the world, it’s pretty likely that eventually you would start to change your diet and be healthy as well (if only to keep up with them!).

Our peer group can spur us on to the greatest of heights, or pull us down and make it feel like there’s a chain around our neck anytime we try to improve ourselves. What we need to do is build a peer group that serves us. When we’re around people who have the same goals as us, who won’t let us off the hook, who check up on our progress, that’s what drives us to create the best results.

Their Success Rubs Off On Us

If all your friends are sociable types who take chances and really push themselves, you are going to start becoming that yourself. This is because our peer group has certain expectations of us, and we directly adhere to those expectations.

That’s why if you are determined to go out and want to get in that sociable state and meet new men, you are going to need the kind of friends who will have fun doing it and actually try this stuff out with you. The kind of friends who will get involved and spur you on when you go and approach men, instead of trying to pull you down. You want people who aren’t going to let you off the hook.

But let’s be clear, I’m not telling you that you need to start ditching your current friends and trade them in for single ones. What I do hope to alert you to is the life-changing power of expanding your social circle.