Blues and Tans in Relationship: This is a common union. Because Blues desire a monogamous, committed relationship, they are often drawn to the Tans’ stability and reliability. If both are looking for a traditional marriage,  then this relationship can work. The two Tans that are the most compatible with Blues are Sensitive Tans and Abstract Tans. They tend to be a bit more emotional than the other two Tans.

With Tans, the Blues have the comfort and satisfaction of knowing they have stable, reliable, and committed mates. Tans know they have loyal, loving, and devoted partners. Commitment, loyalty, and security are the rewards for this couple. Both fill different roles in the relationship, however, both must realize that each sees the world differently, processes feelings differently, and has different priorities.

What can potentially develop in this relationship is a communication problem. Blues communicate from the heart — they want to bond emotionally with their mates. Tans, on the other hand, process intellectually; they prefer to analyze a situation and come up with a rational solution while typically keeping their emotions to themselves. This can frustrate Blues, who feel isolated from the deepest part of their mates. Tans do not intellectually understand the Blues’ emotional unpredictability and constant need to discuss the relationship and their feelings. Often Tans become too emotionally unfulfilling for a Blue. If the Blue partner can become emotionally secure, and the Tan partner can become emotionally available and communicative, then these two can have a long, fulfilling relationship.

by Robert Stone

In Greek mythology, there are some marvelous stories of marriage. Here, for instance, are two tales about how Zeus and Hera tricked each other into marriage and the inevitable disappointments that follow such chicanery. These stories are wonderful parables for the present.

Wounded Birds

Zeus, the chief and most macho of the gods, fell in love with Hera. An independent and proud goddess, she was not swept off her feet by his wooing and rejected his offer of marriage. Zeus, wounded by this rejection but still wanting the fair Hera, decided to trick her by disguising himself as a poor, bedraggled, wounded bird. Hera, upon seeing the creature, took pity on it. The bird’s suffering struck a sympathetic chord deep within her own heart and she tenderly warmed the pathetic but charming creature at her bosom. Thus it was that Zeus, the great thrower of thunderbolts, won the heart of Hera and eventually tricked her into marriage.

There is much to be learned from this story. Wounded birds can be most disarming. Women can often sense an underlying tenderness and vulnerability that is born of childhood mistreatment or prior hurtful relationships beneath the veneer of macho men. These otherwise independent women will go to incredible lengths to succor such men, especially women whose fathers had a similar core of sadness. They long to fulfill an old desire to restore the wounded bird to health through the generous gift of a love that transcends any love they have ever known.

It is upsetting when the wounded bird responds not with gratitude and growth, but instead becomes proud and petulant, distant and defiant. It’s much too frightening to a macho man to have his defenses down for long. Often enough, the sensitive man our helpful lady married vanishes and an irrational, ridiculous god of the male ego appears in his stead, throwing thunderbolts of abuse at his beloved before he flies the coop with some little chickadee. The wounded bird denies his vulnerability and hides his unhappiness by wounding the woman who cared for him, just as Zeus left Hera hurt and betrayed.

Why do women stay with the men who abuse and disappointment them? Perhaps they are still enchanted by that little wounded bird they are sure is there beneath the bravado and cruelty. Perhaps their self-esteem is tied up in their self-perceived ability to cure with their love. Perhaps they can’t stand the idea that they might fail to revive the gentleness in their beloved. Perhaps they are re-enacting an old drama that has been going on in their families for generations. Whatever the reason, women beware! Unless the wounded person is even more motivated than you are to deal with his feelings and develop a new kind of relationship, you are, like Hera, forever doomed to dissatisfaction.

Others say that it was Hera who tricked Zeus into the bonds of marriage. Knowing men as she did, Hera paid a little visit to Aphrodite, the ravishing goddess of love. She borrowed a magical nightie that made her look like Aphrodite. This gladdened Zeus’ heart and laced his fantasy with the thrilling thought that he, of all men, was going to be getting it on with Aphrodite herself. What more do men want than to be with a willing woman who is unabashedly sexual and aggressive in her desire for him?

by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

All too often in our lives, we place happiness squarely out of reach. I hear people complain, “I’ll never be happy,” and “Happiness just wasn’t meant for me.” Unfortunately, these statements are symptomatic of the problem. Happiness is not out of reach; we just put it there due to other, often less important things, getting in our way.

The Arguing Duo: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

For example, let’s look at how Mr. and Mrs. Smith communicate when they argue. Their communications are often marked by one contradicting the other. Blame is thrown around, and Mr. Smith often insists that his point of view is the right one. Mr. Smith is choosing, whether he realizes it or not, to be unhappy. He has chosen to be the one in the “right,” rather than to work toward tranquility for himself and his wife. While Mr. Smith feels vindicated, his wife now feels angry, upset, and very much unhappy. Her unhappiness will eventually filter down to him, since they share much of their lives together. Perhaps they will both feel much worse off after such arguments, even though Mr. Smith continues to win them.

If life is all about winning such arguments, Mr. Smith will have “won” at life. That will be little solace to him when he looks back at such wins and sees how miserable he made life for both himself and his wife. We often get caught up in the emotion of an argument, and it is in this feeling of “being right” that we lose sight of the purpose of the argument. Winning the argument becomes more important than the person’s feelings with whom we are arguing.

But what exactly has Mr. Smith “won”? Is it likely that Mrs. Smith will slap herself on the side of the head and say, “By golly, George, you’re right! Thanks for spending the past 15 minutes arguing your point, because now I see the light!” I don’t know of too many people who come away from an argument saying that (other than sarcastically). By beating the other person into seeing your point of view in an argument, the only thing you’ve “won” is bitter misery and resentment from them. Ask yourself a simple question: Do you feel better or worse about yourself after arguing with someone (especially a significant other)? How do you think the other person feels?

Most arguments are ultimately pointless, meaningless, and conducted over small matters that have little to no real meaning in life. By choosing to argue, rather than choosing to be happy, you are setting your own course. The two are mutually exclusive; I’ve never met two people who were truly happy when arguing.

But What About When It’s Important?

Sometimes a discussion or argument is important, and solutions must be discovered or else the problem will fester and grow. This inevitably means both parties will commit to some form of compromise. The amount that Mr. and Mrs. Smith compromise, however, will often determine who feels better after an argument. The person who does the most compromising often feels worse off.

It is important for a person to carefully choose when an argument is so important, it must continue at the expense of happiness or tranquility. These times are more rare than most people realize. Arguing about personal habits, being late, doing a chore, or remembering to pick up milk are unimportant unless one person in the relationship makes it so. They are a waste of time, a source of constant and unnecessary stress, and will likely cause more ill feelings than the problems they solve.

The next time you’re considering whether to nitpick or to bring up a point to someone, or to correct someone’s simple misstatement or fact which may be slightly out-of-place, reconsider what you and the other person have to gain by your choice. I will bet you that nine times out of ten, you would be happier, and so would the other person, if you choose not to engage in that argument. It is a choice, and you have the power to make it.

When was the last time you saw an advertisement depicting a single person whooping it up in front of their Yule log?

If your answer is never, it’s no surprise.

The holidays are about family, friends, spouses, children and parties, right? So what if you’re single, recently out of a relationship, childless or live far from home? According to our national media (and every myth about the holidays), you’re destined to be lonely and miserable. However, many of us who are, in fact, single, divorced, or live at a distance from family and friends have found ways to not only keep ourselves busy during the holidays, but to actually enjoy ourselves. Remarkable, but true!

Plan Early

From the mellow to the exotic, there are endless ways to spend your holidays alone – without being lonely.

If you know you’ll be alone on Thanksgiving, Christmas or any other family-centric holiday, plan ahead. There are two major planning options; either:

1. Arrange to be with other people or
2. Set up activities for yourself.

Get Invited

Just because you always went to your husband’s family for Thanksgiving and now you’re divorced doesn’t mean you can’t share a drumstick and the post-dinner turkey-bloat with a bunch of fun folks.

Let people know you’ll be alone. Tell friends or colleagues or a local religious leader that you’re interested in participating in an organized activity and doors will surely open and herald you into a home, church, synagogue or community center. Find out if you have any unknown relatives living locally and expand your view of who is in your family.

Your friends will surely be happy to have you join them. Don’t get caught up in the idea that “holidays are only for family.” The spirit of the season embraces everyone but a Scrooge! You’ll be doing others a favor by encouraging them to open their hearts to you in celebration of this festive time of year.

Celebrate with Virtual Strangers

You’ll be amazed at how many people spend the holidays alone. All you have to do is reach out, make a phone call or two, and you can find them; then nobody has to be alone! The easiest way to spend the holidays with other people is to volunteer. You can call a homeless shelter, a retirement home, a residential center for children, an animal shelter, or many other places. If there is a college or university near you, call the student activities office, as they often arrange a variety of volunteering options at local sites. Volunteer opportunities range from delivering hot meals and warm cheer to housebound elderly to cooking mashed potatoes for 150 homeless adults or reading to their children. One of my most memorable Christmas days was spent delivering hot meals to senior centers. I sat for an hour that day with a 97-year-old woman who told me stories about her childhood in Prague. She told me that she didn’t have many visitors anymore, and I know that we brightened up each other’s holiday.

You’re Never Alone When You’ve Got Yourself

My friend Theresa is single. This year, she made elaborate plans for Thanksgiving. She was going to join a hiking club for a long weekend of activities, including Thanksgiving Day dinner. But a week before the holiday, she decided to stay home. For Thanksgiving, she arranged a brunch with other single friends and, during the weekend, she worked on an art project she hadn’t touched in six months, went jogging, took yoga classes, and spent a lot of time alone, enjoying her own company. “It was unexpected,” she told me. “I’d always needed to be around people to feel happy. But this year I really enjoyed staying home, nesting, and taking care of myself.”

by Beth Greenberg, MA

Are You Ready To Find Love?

People on this site are passionately engaged in the performing arts, humanitarian, political, and global causes (Violets); education, care-taking, and counseling fields (Blues); sports, the healing arts, creativity, and physical activities (Yellows); finance, commerce, and entrepreneurial businesses (Greens); and many, many other occupations and activities. Our members are also interested in understanding the aura color personalities and discovering how the information can be used in their personal and professional lives.

Online Dating Website Based On Aura.

LoveColors is an exciting new online dating site – a great new way to find your ideal partner based on your love color compatibility!  Sign up now for FREE! Enjoy FULL ACCESS to the site while we are growing our membership. Communicate with members, watch all videos, and more.

This Online Dating Site Works!

More than ever before, finding love online is not only possible, but probable. LoveColors offers a fresh, new approach to matchmaking online by providing fascinating and valuable insight into the true essence of people.

Find & Date Singles Online.

LoveColors is proud to offer a singles dating site that has been created by an expert who has more than 27 years of experience successfully coaching and helping people create, nurture, and preserve their relationships.

A New Free Online Dating Service!

Although LoveColors is one of the newest online dating singles sites, there are already great friendships developing and people finding new love on the site. Watch Pamala Oslie’s helpful videos describing in detail each of the aura color personalities. Love Colors is a free singles dating site that offers a unique and compelling way to meet the love of your life.

A New Way To Discover Love.

Inside you will also find a treasure chest of amazing videos that help you learn insightful, interesting, and helpful information about yourself and others. We at LoveColors believe that the better you know yourself, your personality, needs, priorities, and motivations in life, the more successful you will be finding your most compatible partner.

Online Dating Service Based On Aura Compatibility.

LoveColors is an exciting new way to find your ideal partner.  Have you ever felt drawn to some people – you wanted to be near them? You’re feeling their energy – their aura. LoveColors matches people based on the personality traits & qualities of the different aura colors. LoveColors has so much to offer – and right now it’s free during Beta testing!

Get Real Results Fast.

LoveColors members represent a diverse cross section of people around the world. They are people who share common goals; are gay and straight; are your friends, neighbors and co-workers; and who live near and far. LoveColors.com will enable you to better understand your own personality traits and your most compatible match based on your aura colors. There are few free matchmaking online services that offer such thorough insights on personality traits.

Online Dating & Aura Matchmaking.

At LoveColors you can discover your aura colors and what they reveal about you. Learn which aura color personalities are most compatible with you.  Learn how to find true love and create a lasting partnership. It’s rare to find a free singles dating site that offers a huge library of video content to support and coach its members through the online matchmaking process.

Sign Up For Free Membership Today!

Answer the Love Colors Questionnaire and determine your personal aura colors. Then read the written descriptions and consult the compatibility chart to see which colors are most compatible with yours. Become a LoveColors member and meet local singles by clicking the red buttons on the bottom of the screen.

Local Singles Online. Free To Join!

LoveColors.com offers a brand new way to experience matchmaking online and meeting singles online. They have made the process of Internet dating much more enjoyable. Meeting singles online and finding the love of your life has never been easier or more fun.

Looking For True Love?

Pamala Oslie, author of LIFE COLORS and LOVE COLORS, was encouraged by her clients around the world to develop this singles dating site based on the compatibility of the aura color personalities.  Meet people from all over the world (i.e. from the United States of America, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, or the United Kingdom and many more).

Internet dating is the NEW way to find a mate.

One of the benefits of online social networking is the ability to become a part of a vibrant community of like-minded people who share similar values and beliefs. You will find that people on LoveColors are truly interested in meeting quality people.

LoveColors aim to set new standards for free online dating.

LoveColors members share common dreams and goals; embrace humanity and spirituality; and are seeking a safe, nurturing, progressive Internet dating service.  We encourage you to get to know the other people in this community. Search for people with similar or different aura colors, then exchange ideas, experiences, and perspectives with one another.

How Accurate Are The Aura Colors?

People comment how amazing the accuracy of the color descriptions are, and how much they validate and confirm their own personalities, priorities, and inner desires. The color descriptions also offer great insight into the personalities of potential life partners.

Does it cost money?

Zero. Zilch. Nada.  Simply create your personal profile. Upload photos to maximize your chances of finding a date. Describe your ideal partner. Then LoveColors will get to work finding your most compatible matches. You can also browse the other members by user name, by color selections, or by other qualities. Email or wave to people, choose Favorites, send Friend Requests and more – all for free during the beta testing period.

How To Get Started?

You can communicate with your matches and take full advantage of this unique Internet dating service. Communicating with others is an important step toward finding true love. Begin today by becoming a member of LoveColors! Finding love online is just a keystroke way.  Click the links below to get started and discover a deep understanding of your most compatible color personalities.